STOP BEFORE YOU SHOP

Good old Stop & Shop. Glendale, NY location.  I can always count on them to be aggravated.   Why do they post guarantees if they are going to make a big deal about them or even not honor them?  With a "double your money back" guarantee, you'd think that they would get things right.  NOT SO!

I had written that I purchased a semi-boneless leg of lamb (I still can't figure out as to what it would be if the whole bone was in considering that a bone went through the entire half leg) and had it cut up into a roast and some steaks.  Again, I had one steak that tasted a little weird and got nauseous.  Any time that I have had an issue with the fish or meat I have asked as to whether they wanted me to bring in the package.  They told me that I did not have to.  Just bring in the receipt or they have asked to have me bring in the price stickers as well.  This time I brought in the meat.  Total attitude as if I do this purposely to get double my money rather than monitor.  The people at the customer service area discussed it, asked what was wrong with what I brought back last week (believe me...there is a reason...look at the guarantee).  Interestingly, I did NOT get double my money back but the price I paid.  Who exactly gets to make the decision? 

Next...there is a sign in the seafood department that guarantees "no pin bones" in the salmon.  In the last few weeks I have had to pull out a pin bone from my mouth.  The sign is pretty recent so if they think that by putting up the sign you would feel better about buying it....it doesn't work!!!

I bring my own bags when I shop there.  I don't prefer to scan, but I place the items in each of the bags that I want "re-bagged".   It's a lot easier when I get home and have them separated by groups.  Even with cat food on sale at like 20 for $10...I put 20 in each bag.  Easier to carry as well.  And there is usually one large insulated bag for items that are either frozen or should be kept cold.   None of the cashiers have ever had a problem until MARY!  Last week I presented the logistics and she had an upset.  Everyone else moves things around and scans with the portable scanner, etc.  She has the need to pick up the bag turn it over and dump the items onto the counter.  And she has to life it high enough...if you get my drift.  Talk about drama!

I happened to have gotten her today and there was that attitude and asking why I don't scan it.  However, this time she picked up a bag of cans of cat food to dump and one fell off the counter and onto my foot (I wear sandals and it "smarted").   I had to ask if someone could pick it up as I have a cane....hint, hint. 

It was the last straw!!!   I had a conversation with the store manager about it all.  She apologized and said she would talk to everyone about the problems.  I called the corporate office a little while ago and expressed my complaints about EVERYTHING!!!   The customer service person took the info and said it would be sent on to the correct person who will be getting back with me.  Let's see if it happens and what they will do to keep me as a satisfied customer. 

FAIRWAY MARKET....OPEN THE DOOR...I'M ON MY WAY!!!!

LET'S KILL GRANDMA THIS CHRISTMAS

Let's Kill Grandma This Christmas.  Is it a mystery or comedy?  There's really no mystery, it's just plain SICK!  Ya gotta have that sense of humor to enjoy this witty play aka "The Other F**king Christmas Story".

 Present time, Christmas Eve. A dingy dilapidated great room of Grandma Cathy's (Roxie Lucas) run down Victorian home. Furniture is completely outdated and a big picture of a Native American chief hangs crookedly next to the entrance to the kitchen. Get the idea? A wooden table sits in the center of the stage with several chairs around it. Brett (Kevin O'Donnell) is relaxed on the couch nest to a small stack of Christmas gifts.  This is the house of Jen's (Brandi Nicole Wilson) grandma, who is married to Brett.

We learn immediately that according to granny's will, she will inherit the house and is not really thrilled with the idea, since her sister Leigh (Katie Webber) is due to inherit two million dollars. Leigh is married to Carl (James Wirt) a wimpy, nerdy guy.  One more character is Ray (Adam Mucci) a wheelchair bound ex-marine whose disability stems from the Vietnam War.  He is the brother of Brett.

Everyone wants to get their inheritance as quick as possible and the solution is to off grandma.  From the moment grandma Cathy enters, we get that she has a "potty" mouth and personality to match.  The question is, who is going to do the deed?  Well, why not have the stronger grandson-in-law persuade the nerdy grandson-in-law to kill her off?  Especially when you have a funny character to boot?

But then there is a hitch.  It appears that grandma is a cougar.  Ray and her fall in love, set to marry and now the will gets changed.  Perhaps grandma should be offed before the wedding?

So, that's the story.  Roxie Lucas and James Wirt get the funniest characters and that's what stands out in this outrageous play written by Brian Gianci and produced by Robert Nicotra and John Dapolito.

I attended the opening night performance with another writer, Mark Lord who wrote: "Here's my take on "Let's Kill Grandma This Christmas:" Overall, I enjoyed it quite a lot. But I thought the play had a hard time deciding what it was supposed to be: a comedy, a satire, a commentary on the state of the world today? Regardless, it did keep the laughs coming and maintained interest because of its many twists and turns. Certain aspects were predictable, such as the ultimate fate of Grandma Cathy. Other developments were really far-fetched, most particularly the relationship that develops between Cathy and Ray. The performances were uniformly good, most notably those of Roxie Lucas as the potty-mouthed Cathy and James Wirt as the nerdy, abused Carl. The set was quite realistic and benefited from great details."

Let's Kill Grandma This Christmas is being performed at the Theatre at St. Clement's, 423 W. 46th St.  until January 6th.  In a nut shell...you need a twisted mind like mine to enjoy the humor.  www.letskillgrandmatheplay.com 

SHOPPING FOR SPORTS GEAR

Do you have a sports fan that you’re looking to buy a gift for?   Take, for instance, that they’re into the Brooklyn Nets.    You can go to the NBA store in Manhattan, check out the “store” on the Brooklyn Nets’ website or you may get a better bargain by going to a website called, Fanatics as in www.fanatics.com.  

You don’t have to worry as to whether they are the real thing.  I checked.   What’s even great is that they have gear for a slew of teams and of various sports, including the Olympics, which is perfect for either nostalgia, a fan of a foreign team or a college supporter of his or her team.  Much clothing and collectibles as well.    

BARE, THE MUSICAL SHOULD BE "BROADWAY"

When I heard the description of the Off-Broadway production of Bare, I trumped up images of Broadway’s Spring Awakening with a gay plot.  As I scrambled through the actors’ bios, it did not surprise me to learn that there were at least four who were either in the Broadway version or touring.  That’s not bad since I happened to have loved Spring Awakening (saw it three times).

Curtain opens…oh, that’s right…there is no curtain.  The set has back and side fixtures of dozens of photos.  I couldn’t get close enough to see, but I think that they were photos of the students that were probably taken via a cell phone or such. 

Peter, (Taylor Trensch) a 16-year-old and sort of nerdy looking boy is upstage.  We are in the hallways of St. Cecilia’s Church. There is a large photo behind him stretched across the top of half the stage, that of high school students in the cast.  “I was asked to say a few words. I thought I should begin by telling you who I am. You know how, when you see a group picture, you try to find yourself in it? I never do that. I’m always surprised I’m there. I have a photographic memory. Another thing you probably didn’t know about me.  So I remember all of it. Every moment. It started on President’s Day. Well no, to be completely accurate, it started on Ash Wednesday. It began with a photograph”.   Time is then wound to earlier in the year.  Flashback.

Most of the cast enters to opening song taken place at Church, Fr. Mike (Jerold E. Solomon) at the pulpit.  Cast continues with “Million Miles From Heaven”.   Blackout. Lights go up to see Peter and Jason (Jason Hite) lying together in bed at Jason’s lake house.  Jason is a “jock”.   They are discussing Jason’s audition to play Romeo in the school play as well as a signal for them to be alone, “Can I borrow your math book?”

Let me get in some of the characters before I continue.  We have Ivy (Elizabeth Judd), the slut…we’ll at least rumor has it from the school she had gotten transferred from…then there is Jason’s sister, Nadia (Barrett Wilbert Weed) and Madison (Sara Kapner) who believes the rumors.  Needless to say, Jason gets the part of Romeo and is playing opposite Ivy.   Matt (Gerard Canonico), who also auditioned for the part of Romeo, is in love with Ivy and now Jason, who doesn’t want to come out will need to prove himself of being “normal” by making it with Ivy.  Get the picture?

Sister Joan (Missi Pyle), who was also transferred from another school, is hip to it all and just wants the students to lead a happy life.  She is directing the play and believes that roles can be played by either gender, since there were only male actors back in the days of Shakespeare.  Her father was a dj and mother a singer.  Pyle gets to show off her voice and style in a most of the cast number called, “Don’t Tie Up The Request Line” which turns into a lounge act, her being “Mary”.

  

Some more to point out….Diane (Alice Lee) who is a bit naïve with some of the funniest lines, Zack (Casey Garvin), the challenging “jock” and Alan (Alex Wyse) a Jewish boy who transferred due to it being “the best school in the area”.  He’s best lines were, “I’m not allowed to date girls who aren’t Jewish. Can’t choose you unless you’re Chosen. Sorry ladies. Choosy Jews choose Chosen Chicks.”

Enough of the plot as I don’t want to give away the rest.  It’s time to congratulate those talented people who were responsible for Bare starting with the music.  Damon Intrabartolo wrote the music and Jon Hartmere (who also wrote the book), composed this contemporary rock musical worthy of buying a CD. I’ve heard that one is not yet available. So sad.   Stafford Arima directed this need to go to Broadway winner.  Travis Wall gave us the choreography.  Thank you Travis.  

I have to say that the entire cast came together to pull off what I feel was the best musical for this season, especially since I love comedy as well.   Okay, they threw in a token "Jew" but for comedy. The “baring one’s soul” plot came across with little clichés, plenty of comedy, as well as the important drama, great music, and a cast if harmonious voices.   My only disappointment is that Bare is “Off-Broadway” and deserved an upgrade.   I give Bare two thumbs up and a big toe!  Don’t miss it!  

See it at the New World Stages, 340 W. 50^th Street (there are five stages at this venue).

THE RIDE: HOLIDAY EDITION

I loved going on THE RIDE so much that I decided to take in the Holiday edition with a four o'clock tour that lasted for 75 minutes.   The 4:p.m. gets you both daylight as well as the holiday lights that take in areas such as Grand Central Station, 5th Avenue, Radio City Music Hall, and the Baccarat Crystal Star at 57th Street and Fifth Avenue.

This particular bus had a large group of people from Russia.  There was much focus on pointing out the holiday hot spots while "The Ride" voice gave a bit of history.  The soundtrack and videos in side the bus are much different from the one I did with Fazzino and the art work on the outside of this bus is way kewl!

I love when we hit a spot that one of the entertainers performs.  The microphone and speakers open up so you can hear them and they can hear you.  I'm most amused to see the people passing by as to whether they will stop to look at the performer as well as in some cases actually join in.   Then there are those that are taking photos of the scenario.  One day I want to set it up to be on the street and take photos and video of what it looks like from a viewers point vs being on the bus.

Depending upon the time of day, I think, you may not be able to go down the street of where the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center is lit.  I know that we were cut off from this at this time.

I went with one of my friends, who did this for the first time. Here is her email.  "

Merle -

   Thank you for letting me experience a city tour bus that is so out of the ordinary.  It kept me so amused and entertained that I did not find myself daydreaming wondering what I was going to do after this ride.

 The seats were so comfortable and everybody had a window seat.  The view of the streets and entertainers were perfect.  I do not think there is a bad seat on that bus.

   I really enjoyed the cute little story and the singing and dancing of the street performers.  They were so good that even the pedestrians were having a great time.  At the same time the sites and the facts of NYC were given to us in a fun quiz.  The whole bus load of people were involved - clapping, singing and laughing. 

  On some bus tours I've actually fallen asleep.  Not this one.  I would recommend this tour for everyone.

Sincerely

Joanna A.

The Holiday edition ends on December 30th so book it now!!!  www.experiencetheride.com  

STOP AND HOPE AT STOP & SHOP

Just when I thought that Stop & Shop in the Glendale section of Queens got their act together....It's not as if they have been open for decades when there were problems with the structure.  They decided to renovate. That was the good news.  It certainly looks great.  Expanded seafood department and an entire aisle devoted to Natural foods.  I'm so glad that they have a double your money back guarantee, though.

I think most people, rather than complain will simply just not go back to a place.  Not me!  My problems seem to lie with both the seafood and meat department.  Interesting that with the expansion that there is a "butcher" area in the seafood department carrying the top of the line.  Yet, I have never seen anyone behind that counter.  Not like when I go to Fairway and there are at least 3 people behind their butcher counter ready to be of assistance!

Talk about attitude!  One day I come in and request something that's on the flyer.  One of the "butchers" is arguing that they haven't priced the items and that's why they are not out.  He's quite rude about it.  I just keep asking when it's coming out and lo and behold they seem to have the items priced and someone brings it out.

Today, I was looking to purchase a "semi-boneless" leg of lamb.  I'm the only one that going to eat the lamb and at a price of $2.99 a pound thought it would be a bargain.  I ask the "butcher in the back" if he can cut it up for me.  Another attitude about it!  Frankly I don't understand what semi-boneless is if a bone is totally running through it!  I'm asking for steaks and a roast.  He cuts it up and packages it.  The look on his face was if I just stopped him from his thoughts about how much time it was before his shift ended.

If you go to the butcher area and need something when they are on their break (I think they all take a break at the same time), there is no one to assist you for at least 20 minutes.

Well, I'm re-wrapping to portions and decide to cook up one of the "steaks".  How awful!  Something just didn't taste right.  Like total nausea and stomach upset.  It made me wonder if the butcher cleans the blades from the last piece of meat he cut up before he cut this one up.

I then pop over to the frozen food to buy my favorite ice cream.  Graeter's.  There they are on the top shelf! I can see that there is a line of pints pushed forward, a space and then at least a line in the back that has freezer burn on them.  I ask one of the staff that works that area and he denies that it's freezer burn due to his buying some other brand that seems to have freezer burn but tastes okay.  Good Grief!

I so wish that Fairway Market was closer to my home!  It just might be worth the schlep to Douglaston.  At least the people who work there are pleased to do their jobs.  

ROZ RYAN IS 54 ABOVE AT 54 BELOW

Broadway and Off-Broadway shows are great and now I'm widening my horizon to focus on the performers themselves who get gigs at nightclubs.  Having experienced Feinstein's and Cafe Carlyle, I was off to 54 Below, located in the cellar of the original Club 54.  This was a follow up to seeing Roz Ryan in "Scandalous".  A night of Roz, her pianist Shelton Becton, and the band.  My reaction?  Move over Aretha Franklin!

This is one entertaining woman who can charm an audience with a combination of a totally outstanding voice and a great sense of humor!  So what was on the bill?  Roz opened with "The Best Is Yet To Come", followed by, "We're In Love", "Love Wants To Dance" and "Old Friend".

She took a break to allow us the pleasure of hearing another fabulous voice; that of Shelton Becton singing, "Where's God". You'd think he was leading a gospel choir but doing a solo!  Amazing!  You might just as well get both voices as this was followed by a duet of "I'm In Love Again".

Another song and another duet of "You Don't Have To Say You're Sorry" and it was back to a solo on the piano. "Music For The Birds".  Boy can Shelton tickle those ivories 'til their on the floor laughing.

"All Of Me", "Yesterday" (Charles Aznavour composition...not The Beatles), a Patty Austin song, "Love Me By Name" and "How Long Has This Been Going On" lead into her ending number of "My Way".  We all knew that she would come back for an encore and so did she.  Hell....it was demanded!  She sang, "Teach Me Tonight".

The evening was supported by many of her fellow cast members from both "Scandalous" and the former show she starred in, "Chicago". 

As for the nightclub.  It's low lights and a some long tables directly in front.  There are tables in the back that are higher up so that no one in front is blocking your view.  Tables in the sides, too. In other words, there's not a bad seat in the house.

There's basically a cover charge and two drink minimum.  Food is available as I tried a few items on the menu. Penne Shrimp with Broccoli, Beet Salad with Goat Cheese and Carrot Cake.  Quality deserves dining there.

Location is 254 West 54th Street,  866-468-7619.  www.54below.com