MAYOR SODA BAN

If Mayor Bloomberg gets his way on the banning soda more than 16 oz. I can see it now!  People will be tweeting.  "32 Ounces of Coke being sold legally at the Nassau-Queens Border". 

HOLE IN JUAN?

I just heard on the news about some guy falling into a sink hole while playing golf. If his name was Juan, instead of calling in "a hole in Juan", we'd be calling it "a Juan in hole".

CHOOSING A POPE

What did the former Pope have for breakfast? Ex-Benedict!  The Pope choosing has become a great media event.  Swallows from Capistrano and Cardinals from all over the world.  I'm guessing that it will be "milked" for days and equivalent to being another Reality Show, like The Bachelor, only this one is worldly.  Too bad that Native American Indians don't have a patent on smoke signals. 

SARAH RICE AT 54 BELOW

 Sarah performed her own show at 54 Below, a most darling nightclub in Manhattan.   I saw her on the evening of March 3rd, haven't not heard her sing since we were in The Pirates of Penzance in P'Town, the summer of 1982.

The evening entitled “Glamorous Nights and Careless Rapture was dedicated to the music of composers Ivor Novello and Noel Coward.  Accompanying her was Bill Zeffiro on the Piano, Maria Banks on the Harp, and Jonathan Russell, a very young and talented Violinist.

We not only experienced the delight of her sweet soprano voice, with both moving and humorous tunes, the audience was treated to Sarah playing an instrument called the theremin. This particular instrument is never touched but controlled through sound waves. 

 For upcoming performances, visit her website at www.sarahrice.com

ALL IN THE TIMING AT PRIMARY STAGES

It was as if I were at an improvisational theatre at Primary Stages. This particular stage presented a 20^th Anniversary revival of playwright David Ives’ All In The Timing.  The set has a backdrop of some clocks, one of which is working (but not the correct time).  There are six doors, three on the right and three on the left.  A coffee mug and flower in a vase sits on top of a café table with two chairs. Betty (Liv Rooth) sits there reading a book.  Bill (Carson Elrod) enters. It’s a rainy night. Bill asks Betty if the seat is taken. She answers and you hear a bell.  Bill asks if the seat is taken and Betty gives another answer.  The scene continues this way as with just about each answer, you hear a bell and the dialogue changes.  It’s as if an improv, but it’s not and does lead to dialogue and a happy ending. This particular scene is called, “Sure Thing”.

All In The Timing is composed of six brain teasing sketches that run from amusing to hilarious, not all of which employ the “ring of the bell” schtik.

“Words, Words, Words” is the next sketch. There are three desks, each with a typewriter and each of the desks bares a name: Milton (Matthew Saldivar), Swift (Carson) and Kafka (Liv). They are monkeys in the lab of Columbia University.  There is a rubber tire hanging from a rope for them to play on. Premise? Three monkeys, left alone in a room, each with a typewriter will eventually produce Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”.  Great scene of when they pause and aware that they are being looked at, posed in the “hear no evil, etc.” and dialogue reflecting that.  Somewhat crude on the physical humor and does make a point in all of our lives.

In “The Universal Language,” a stuttering woman, Dawn (Jenn Harris), shows up in a classroom where a professor, Don (Carson) waits to teach the world his answer to Esperanto, a language called Unamundo.  We hear words such as “Velcro” for “welcome” and “How are you?” becoming, “Harvard U”.  Dawn’s motive for learning the language is that it doesn’t make her stutter. The words do wind up connecting the characters and after awhile the audience can even recognize Don’s language.  Be sure to notice the backdrop of words and you can most likely figure out what it says even before Don speaks.

Interpishon.  “Philip Glass Buys A Loaf of Bread begins the second half.  It’s another “ring the bell”.  There is a baker behind a glass case housing one loaf of bread.  Philip Glass (Carson) enters to ask for a loaf of bread.  There are two women in the room.  The scene changes with different dialogue and movements with rhythms in the background.  At one point an “Uderbaker” (Eric Clem) comes out from behind the backdrop.  The entire scene is quite funny but would have been much funnier had I known who composer Philip Glass was.

“The Philadelphia” follows taking place in the present at a restaurant in New York City.  Al (Matthew) is seated at a table relaxed and wearing sunglasses.  Mark (Carson) enters in a bit of a frenzy.  It appears that no matter what Mark asks for he is given the opposite.  Al tells him that he is trapped in “Philadelphia”. Al gets word that his is fired from his job and doesn’t seem to care as he is in the state of “California”. He’s not even moved by his wife leaving him. At the end, we find that the waitress (Jenn) is in the state of “Cleveland”.  The sketch is hilarious.

The concluding play, “Variation On The Death of Trotsky” (Saldivar) reflects on the last day of his life, assisted by his wife (Liv) and his assassin, Ramon (Eric Clem). Trotsky is seated with an ax sticking out of his head.  His wife is reading out loud about the assassin and the ax.  Another “ring the bell”. Mr. Ives places his exiled Russian, in a time warp in which destiny is played in a loop while the bell rings as he dies every day.
Each of the actors is certainly on key when it comes to the timing but would not have gotten off the ground if it weren’t for Director John Rando’s talent.  Primary Stages is located at 59E59 Theaters. The play has been extended until April 14^th.  www.primarystages.org

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ARE YOU A NUTELLA FANATIC?

No matter where you turn...in the supermarket or the television...Nutella gives us the impression that it is a fabulous spread...and good for you.  Give it to children and they will certainly run to the table for breakfast.  Hey, it doesn't even matter how much you've toiled to made a meal...the Nutella on a baked good will do it!  Peter Pan decided to get on the hazelnut spread wagon as well. 

At least with peanut butter, you can buy it fresh or make your own...add a little salt, a touch of sugar or nothing.  Hazelnuts do not have the same taste as a hazelnut paste no matter how long you chew it.

I love hazelnut paste, so Nutella is just fabulous for me.  As a spread?  Are you kidding?  I'm not wasting those calories by spreading it on anything.  I just take a spoonful right from the jar.

BEWARE!  NOT ALL NUTELLA IS THE SAME!  Nutella that is imported from Italy does not contain palm oil...in fact...they are not allowed to use palm oil.  They use a vegetable oil but not palm oil.  Yes, they do taste different.  For me it's like chocolate chips with palm oil as an ingredient.  I taste the palm oil and it masks the taste of the chocolate.  Same with Nutella from the US or Canada.

One way to tell is seeing the Italian written all over it.  I understand (from a source at an Italian grocery store) that the first sign that it's not from Italy is that it is in a plastic jar and not a glass jar.  Yes, it may be a bit more expensive, but this isn't really for kids.  Your average supermarket will most likely not carry the imported, so check out a bonafide Italian grocery store.  Great dessert is to blend a scoop into ice cream...Graeter's for the best. 

LUKE AND LAURA'S RAPE

Greetings to Women's History Month!  What a way to celebrate than to rehash the General Hospital sensation of Luke and Laura's Wedding!!!  OH WAIT....didn't Luke rape Laura?  Doesn't that just enforce that if a man takes on a woman and forces her to have sex, it only goes to prove that she really wanted it?  Have we not come along in women's rights?