Saturday, November 17, 2012


Spotlights are waving about the audience as a lighted sign on the curtain reads, "Adult Film Awards".  It's the new Broadway show, The Performers and the sign is the key to the plot.  Curtain rises to view Mandrew (Cheyenne Jackson) in his Las Vegas hotel room donned in sparse clothing talking to Lee, a former friend from his school days, who is now a reporter for the New York Post.  Mandrew, a porno star (who bills himself as a "love star") is up for a major award and promoting a movie entitled Planet of the T*ts. 

He is married to Peeps (Ari Graynor) another porno star whose upset seems to lie in that her porno actress-friend Sundown LeMay (Jenni Barber) has gotten a extreme boob job, while hers are tiny. "I don't even have titties. I just have these like little cow teets".  She, however, feels that tiny boobs means roles of schoolgirls and babysitters vs. school teachers, secretaries or worse, a MILF (Look it up on the internet). 

She has two other major upsets.  One is being "the only one that's not in the movie" and the other is that Mandrew kissed Sundown on the other words, every type of sex is okay as long as the kissing is saved for her.

Lee (Daniel Breaker) is engaged to Sara Meyers (Alicia Silverstone) and appears to be quite conservative when it comes to sex.  Sara would like to see Barry Manilow in concert while Lee has been invited to the after party. 

We later meet Chuck Wood, an aging porn star in his fifties, played by Henry Winkler....yes, the Fonz! He is also up for the major award and quite confident that he will get it.  Winkler also gets some great lines. "I had a scare once. About...five, ten years ago. I woke up and found a gelatinous, cheeselike substance on the base of my b***s.  Could've been any number of diseases. Turned out is was cheese. I'd been eating a Panini naked and I fell asleep as the cheddar dripped down onto my testicles." 

The Performers is hilarious thanks to writer David West Read. I would love to quote many of the lines but considering where it's being printed I would need to use even more explicatives.  Lot of puns or just outright sexual language that will have you guffawing so long as you are in no way prudish.

Ari Graynor has lucked out in getting the not so bright role as she also has the funniest lines and character, who kind of squeaks when she talks, sounding a bit like she has a cold. 

Each of the actors simply added to the humor of the play, which unfortunately closed on November 18th. 

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