Monday, November 16, 2009

Ida Had A Better Time If Only


I went on the inaugural Sweet lesbian cruise in the Western Caribbean. Before I even get to previews of this trip, that include a day in New Orleans, the starting/ending port. I must relate this first.

As we were checking in, a piece of paper was given to us which said: "This letter is to inform you that during our previous 16 days cruise approximately 12 percent of the guests on board Norwegian Spirit experienced the symptoms of acute gastroenteritis. It appears that embarking passengers or crew brought this on board during the previous cruise. Symptoms included diarrhea and vomiting, nausea, body cramps and mild fever generally lasting 24-hours with treatment. We took all precautions on board to reduce or eliminate contamination and we believe that we have been successful by taking these preventive measures. However, as an extra precaution, we recommend and request that all guests carefully observe the good hygiene practice of washing their hands before eating and after using the restroom. Please keep your hands and objects touched by your hands away from your mouth. Wash your hands frequently and, when hand sinks are not readily available, use the hand sanitizer dispensers strategically located throughout the ship...We do not believe that this illness will be an issue during this cruise; however, if you would prefer to travel on an alternative sailing date, we will issue you a cruise credit certificate for a future cruise equal to the value of what you paid for this cruise".

This is a lesbian cruise! Sweet took over the ship for this private cruise which may or may not happen again on this cruise line!!! Did we all make the right decision to stay?

Well, at every single entry that dealt with food, the casino, etc. not only were hand sanitizer dispensers available but staff was on hand with sprayers and instructions to make sure each passenger was sanitized. So, did anyone experience illness?

The Captain decided that we should leave port a half hour earlier than scheduled as during our "day at sea" a Hurricane Ida was approaching. Along with the Captain's voice, we were introduced to Simon, the Cruise Director, who made each announcement calling us "Sweeties". Let me explain that I get seasick quite easily. I did not prepare with a patch, ginger pills or my original plan to tote a pound of fresh ginger, not only planning on chewing it raw but strapping it against the correct pressure points on my wrist!

Stayed up until about 10 and doing karaoke...later about that...then decided to go to my room and perhaps now that I am feeling the movement of the ship to just lie down on the bed and hopefully just let the boat rock me to sleep. In fact, I called for a 7:30 a.m. wakeup call. Now, as I'm lying there, the boat is not just moving side to side but up and down. I believe that the crashing of the boat upon the 25 foot waves caused me whiplash on my back. No position would help and I had remembered from the past that any movement on my part tending to result in nausea and the need to communicate with the water in my toilet bowl.

I did not realize that my door on the balcony was not tightly shut until it flung open! How much of the water should I allow? I'm not sleeping anyway, so the howling of the wind certainly wouldn't make a difference so....Oh, Shot! Now I have to pee. I really don't want to get up! Can I blame the water that's creeping in? I decided to emerge from my bed, grab onto anything that jutted from the walls and make my way to the bathroom. Toilet or shower stall...which was easier? Opted to sit on toilet and hoping that I would be able to make my way back to the bed. As I was about to get into the bed I realized that I wasn't experiencing the dizziness, so why not close the balcony door.

I lied in bed, literally tossing and turning, thinking about Simon's morning announcements. "Hello Sweeties, have you been intimate with the floor last night? Those New Orleans drinks called the Hurricane are being served half price at the bars. As part of Sweet's voluntourism, you will be given the opportunity to preview the beach cleanup experience later this evening. We will provide mops, gloves and gas masks."

The telephone rings at 7:30 and the voice calmly says, "Good morning. This is your wakeup call." I responded with hysterical laughter followed by, "Why? Did I sleep?"

Hurricane Ida decided to hang with us for the rest of the day and most of the evening. Perhaps Ida is a lesbian, too!

Photo is of Esther's long lost daughter Ida, who didn't fare as well as I did.

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